This is the story of our little girl's first decision.....
I woke up at 4am like I've been doing for the last 12 weeks or so and had my normal routine of using the bathroom and then knowing that I wasn't going to fall back asleep I went downstairs to have a small snack and to watch some t.v. While having my bowl of cereal and watching "The Nanny" I felt a dull pain in my lower back. I looked at the clock just for an idea of the time, it was 4:48. Then a couple of minutes later I felt the same dull pain in my back. This made me really pay attention and start to time them, it was 9 minutes later. So I got up and walked around a little knowing that this was a "different" type of ache. At my 40 week appt. I was already 5cm dilated and my doctor told me once I know it's labor don't "dilly dally" just get to the hospital. Since I was 40w 3d my rule was 5 contractions in a row and I start to alert people. After 5 contractions I woke Chris up and said It's time. He thought I was waking him for work and after I reminded him I'm 9 months pregnant and no, this wasn't a gentle wake up call, he got up. I called Lauren and she called my doctor and told me to head to the hospital Dr. Werbin would be there. Did i mention I was scheduled to be induced the next day....yea, Emma had other plans.
We got Jack in the car and headed over to my Aunts house. On our way there I had a couple of painful contractions and just wanted to get out of the car. We dropped Jack off and started our drive to the hospital. That drive was horrible! Sitting in the car and being in labor made my contractions so much worse, all I wanted to do was get out of the car and walk around.
We arrived at the hospital at 6:41 and walked up to labor and delivery, I calmly told the nurses I think I'm in labor and they looked at me and smiled like "yeah okay" I was a lot calmer then I thought I'd be. I went into my room and they told me to put on the gown, I put it on and immediately knew that I was NOT going to be wearing that, when the nurse asked me why I said, look at all that fabric and it was so hot in that room. So they were fine with me only wearing underwear and a sports bra. When Dr. Werbin examined me the first time I was already at 7cm - great start!!!
I had planned since the beginning of my pregnancy I didn't want pain medication and I prepared myself as best I could for this labor. Chris was going to be my support as well as my sister. Both of them knew the reasons why I wanted to do this and they were going to be there to remind me during the hard times.
And WOW was there hard times. The only way I can describe how I got through this pain was I danced. I danced Emma out of me. I didn't want to lay down I didn't want too many people touching me besides for the pressure Chris would put on my lower back during contractions. All I did was sway back and forth and moved my hips and feet and I don't think I stopped moving until it was time to push. At times I would look at Chris with eyes that said "I can't do this" (Later Chris told me, I never actually said those words though) and he would say to me very calmly "You can do anything for a day" Then I remember a couple minutes later looking at him with tears in my eyes and he said "You can do anything for another hour" and I looked at the clock and it was 9:31am. I didn't really believe I'd only be in labor for another hour but the nurse turned to me and said "Yeah honey, your going to have this baby before breakfast service is over"
When Dr. Werbin checked me the second time I was 9cm and then only minutes later I felt like I had to push. When she checked me the final time I was 10cm and ready push. Some things I read said that pushing was the best part, but I disagree - pushing was so much harder then I thought it'd ever be. I asked for a mirror and told Dr. Werbin I wanted to see her being born, since I didn't see Jack because my eyes were closed. I pushed and pushed and pushed....and pushed, you get the picture. And after only 19 minutes of pushing I opened my eyes and watched my baby girl being born. And just like that the pain went away and I had Emma in my arms. I looked at Chris and he had tears in his eyes. We were looking at our perfect baby girl. I made sure she had ten fingers and ten toes.
We did it together, me and my baby girl
Looking into Daddy's soul
Jack meeting his baby sister for the first time
Now, I always get the same questions from people when I tell them I went without pain medicine. The first question is "Did it hurt?" Um YEAH, they invented a special medicine that you take in order to take away the pain of childbirth...they did that for a reason. And the second is "Why did you do it?" And I have two answers....My first answer is simple - I wanted to see if I could do it. My second answer is a little bit deeper. Since I was having a little girl one day she may have children of her own and when she's pregnant I want her to know that woman are powerful, we can be headstrong and sensitive all at the same time, we can do ANYTHING we put our minds to and I could giver her advice first hand of what childbirth feels like.
This was the most empowering thing I've ever done and I wouldn't have changed a thing.